Sicko

Feeling extremely confused right now. Got a huge sun amount of mixed emotions inside me. I don't even wanna write about this but I really gotta get this shit outta my head. Besides, Ive got a headache as well.
That night when he held me 'hostage' at his place after I said no to making out, I waited for like, half an hour. I was hoping he would wake up or something. Anything. But he didn't. I was furious. So I got up and collected my stuff and started walking out of his room when he woke up. Guess what he did the first thing? He blamed me for wanting to leave. That this is all my fault. Maybe he was still half asleep I don't know. But I was RAGING! And I meant RAGING! I had my phone in my hands and I wanted to kick something or throw something. So I threw my phone, I aimed to the floor but it accidentally hit my boyfriend's hips. I then dashed, no scratch that, RAN to get out of his place. He came after me and the next thing he did somehow changed a lot of things...

He put his hands around my neck almost strangling me and pushed against a wall. It happened for about 5 seconds when I pushed him away and slapped him. The moment was happening all in slow motion. I didn't know how to react after that. Whether I should cry or kill him. I didn't cry. I guess I was a bit shocked. I wanted to get out of his house but he didn't let me. He forced-pulled me inside and locked the door, hid the keys, took away my phone and told me that I was not going anyyywhere! I get suffocated quickly and I was. Even then. I didn't know what to do. So I just sat down on his sofa, almost bursting out. I wanted to be anywhere but with him. I didn't even wanna look at his stupid face. In the end, it was him he was on his knees, begging me, and crying. However, I didn't give in this time. All I wanted was to get the fucking hell out of his sight. Out of his life.

He finally brought me home. Around 3:30 in the morning. I told him not to come up with me. Thankfully he left. He called me several times. I picked up everytime. He was crying. I really felt bad. Though I didn't feel like forgiving him. I still talked. He was really attentive the whole day today. Promised me that he will change for the better, that he would not repeat the same mistakes. But I don't know. Should I give him another chance? I want to. But I don't want to end up being hurt again...